Background Information – Understanding Different Points of View

Failure to listen causes conflict, and the opponent's point of view is often left unheard. Conflicts often occur because disputants fail to consider that others might actually perceive things differently. Consider the teenager who is totally disgusted with her friend who saunters down the hall and constantly makes her wait. Suppose the friend has a muscular disease and cannot walk quickly, but hasn't disclosed the problem. If the teenager knew where her friend was coming from, wouldn't she feel differently and think, “Oh, if I had only known?” Similarly, the insensitive young man who calls all women “honey” might be totally unaware that some of the young women might be offended by that term of address. He might approach these women differently if he became aware of their point of view.

The past shapes our points of view and colors them with all sorts of emotional baggage. As a result, it is difficult to walk in someone else's shoes, particularly when a point of view is tied to a basic psychological need like identity, security, and control. Consider different perceptions of the Confederate flag. Is it a symbol of a proud heritage, a badge of honor, or a symbol of slavery, a badge of shame? Consider various fashion statements, like the wearing of hats, which is often a controversial issue in the classroom. Even teachers disagree about whether students should be allowed to wear hats. Some teachers view the wearing of hats as at best poor etiquette and at worst defiant behavior or a sign of gang membership. Others view hats as a harmless fashion statement, a way to hide hair on a “bad hair day,” or a desirable means of expressing individuality. Students in different cultures view clothing differently. According to custom, an orthodox Jewish male wouldn't walk bareheaded before God, and a Moslem woman wouldn't appear in public without her veil.

In an age where political correctness comes and goes as a hot issue and continues to be debated with varying degrees of rationality, the relationship between differing points of view and conflict is obvious. Because they use their own frame of reference, people tend to jump to conclusions about others. The danger that people can become unconcerned about what others think or feel is particularly frightening.

The lessons in this section will help students develop an awareness of different points of view. By encouraging students to listen to different points of view, students will hopefully become more sensitive to others. This sensitivity will help them develop conflict resolution skills.